I was going through my files last night and found a form that tells me my wee Lola needs to go into the vet to be spayed within the next two weeks as per my adoption agreement. This is making me a bit nervous as she seems way too small for major surgery and I also fear her bobble head can’t hold up a cone, but my horoscope says the moon is in my sign therefore I am feeling a bit more emotional than usual.

I really love my vet, especially since she was almost as upset as I was when we had to put Miss Macy down in November. But after all the times Macy was in the clinic for treatments in the years she was sick, the thought of Lola in surgery is a bit terrifying. I know it’s just my brain associating a bad experience with a good place. It does that right now more than it ever has before.

For example, my new massage therapist is near the cancer clinic where my mum died, so there are a whole bunch of restaurants on that end of Broadway that I can never go into again - and have trouble walking by - because they were places my family ran for quick take-out in those final days.

It’s similar to an incredibly tedious and annoying discussion I have had with many of you lately about one person I don’t want around right now. My mind happens to connect memories of some of the harder times in the past three years to a person who really had nothing to do with much of the important parts of my life.

The key is that I’m not pushing myself to repair these little broken linkages for now. My brain needs a break to do what it needs to do to repair. And I’m just going to go with it. So if I start wigging out about Lola’s surgery, humour me. She’s such a tiny little girl!